My thoughts.

Why is that you always have to act so self richous like honestly your supposed to be the parent not me but in one year nine months you won't even have to worry about me because i promise i will be gone from you lives forever. It's your fault that i had to grow up so quickly i didn't even get a change at a normal childhood and you have the right to bitch and complain about yours well you know what I'm not going to fuck up my kids life like you did mine. I'm just glad to know i have that one person out there in this world that i know really wants me with them, and I'm sure this universe hates me because i can't even be with him until i turn eighteen how is that at all fair!? But i know that i will be with him especially if we really are meant to be together no one or anything can ever keep us apart, we're about to hit seven months so I'm pretty sure even with distance we're gonna be amazingly happy. I Love You.

Ah why are some people so damn annoying yes I know your my friend but just because I'm your friend but why is it so bad that I'm friends with your ex I think I'm allowed to still be friends with him considering you wanted me to get close to the guy and I did just because we're friends now doesn't mean I need to tell you everything about what we talk about I know your hurt by him but I'm not about to tell you everything we talk about...

Wow im fucking bloging so damn much but its really the only way for me not to go crazy at this point, and i know im complaining so much but dont fucking judge me... well anyways, honestly i dont understand why this is hurting me so much honestly i dont even know if u ever truly did love me was it all a joke to u did u just want to see me suffer, did u wanna just egg me on all this time, or is it that u think wow i can get anyone well wait u must think that since uv cheated on me twice on the girl u apparently love! guess u never loved me at all or u dont knwo what love is or how to show it well let me help u out love is where u dont fucking hurt the other person by cheating on them or lieing to them!!! god why is that u make me so mad yet make me feel like i have something great with u, i know this isnt a abusive relationship and everything, but fuck man i cant even talk to my friends about this cuz they already think im crazy, but wow u dont even realize how much i love you if u did u...

Fuck why the hell do i have to care so much about the one person who i know doesnt give a fuck about anyone but his fucking self. why do i need all this drama and pain in my life im pretty sure iv gone through enough already and i swear one of these days all this shit is going to drive me over the edge. this is all going so wrong i dont understand how things changed so fast or why even but this is so messed up and i dont understand any of it at all. its just so awkward i dont know how to explain this to my friends or anything, its not like i can talk to them considering they dont even know i dont understand this i put myself in this position and its killing me now. i feel like im in way to deep to even pull myself out i dont know why but this is hurting me so bad and im so sure u couldnt care less about this effecting me u know u only care about urself. so why am i killing myself trying to make u happy yes i have made my fair share of mistakes but nothing compared to what uv done to me...

Alright so i finally think i know what love really is.. everywhere u look u find a definition of love on the internet dictionaries people, but until u really do fall in love u finally realize what everyone says. its where u get this feeling in the pit of your stomach, and when ever u talk to them u cant help but keep smiling, even when u are mad at them, fighting for no reason but u always make up and laugh about how stupid it truly was, u always wanna be with that special someone now matter what, you could and would do anything u can for that person, never even think about hurting them, always being honest, protecting them, i guess love comes in all ways not just one, but now i get why people really want to find that special one so they can have this feeling. i used to think who the fuck cares about love now its so hard to think about not being with that special someone... the person who means it when they iloveyou. and dont over use it.

why is it that people change in highschool much ... and they say ohh yeah its highschool thats changing me... no its fucking not its your damn choice to change who u are.... and the best friends can become strangers its really sad.. i dont get it i think its stupid... and why cant one person hang out with the other persons new friends. highschool is place to grow yes but it doesnt me u have to change everything u are just for a new group of people... or does it... im so confused with everything going on now... why did everything change so fast... its only been like 3 months and so many of my old friends have become strangers i try and talk to them but it just doesnt work... maybe we really werent all that close of friends no matter how much we tried... but i miss all the fun we had and its just everything i thought highschool would be nothings gone like that except maybe 2 things out like 10000 i dont want to lose old friends but i want to make more... and im not ignoring u just becaus...

Nobody really knows why people live and die, but we do have our own opinions no matter how small or large the ideas or even how stupid they may sound people do believe a reason for life. I believe that life is something that you can live to the fullest maybe your super rich, middle class or even poor but we all have a purpose on this earth little or large. All i know is when you find that purpose you will be happy. So to all those people who think they should die or they hate their lives well u only have one change as who u r dont bother ruining that by killing urself because ur bf broke up with you or o my parents and everybody hates me they all want me to die well fuck u everyone has bad days not just u learn to live with it! we all do. And all you possers out there faking ur emo go to hell all u want is attention and people all know it just wait and see where it will take u no1 will really know you so they are never really ur friends. And yes sometimes i even want to kill myself but...