My thoughts.

It could be but maybe it was never meant to be. It could be the reason why we haven't worked out yet. It could be that  I just wasn't good enough or maybe your still not over your ex girlfriend... so why did you chose to lead me on?  Was it fun for you? or did you just think it might be fun to make someone feel as low as you? Maybe I was just the idiot.  I just wish you could tell me things straight up rather then playing the mind games constantly. Besides sometimes I think I  fell in love with you, or it could be something I wanted. 

If you wanna leave your family again just because things are getting tough. I never want you to come back.  I can't handle you leaving and coming back as you please. I want a normal family one where things stay  steady but if you can't even try to be there for us when we need you, then I never want to rely on someone like you again. You may be my family and blood but that doesn't mean much. Your actions speak louder then your words. I wish I could believe in you but your deciding to leave us again. So this time please don't come back. 

One day :) 

I wish you were here :(  

Why do you think you can hurt me?  Is it all because you were once hurt and now you feel it's nothing to hurt someone else?  I thought I meant more to you but I was wrong.  You got exactly what you wanted from me, you made me into the fool.  I never saw it in your eyes that I was just someone you could emotionally hurt.  I believed in the good in you.  But you allowed me to only see what you wanted.  I had to experience the real you.  Those lies you told me may not make you feel bad, but I feel like a fool replaying them in my head.  I believed them.  I was a fool. 

My confessions:  I regret.  I hate. I love. I give. I hurt. I care. Yet everyone who thinks they know me, get it all wrong, they think I'm just another mean girl, but thats all the outer shell, it's exactly who I allow you to see. Why trust other people when they let me down more than not. No one is the person who we  perceive them as. The only person who knows we hide it are the people who stick  around long enough to find out. The ones who love you. And if not that person the person staring back at you in a mirror knows you.