My thoughts.

She thought you were different, the type that would hold her close when she was scared,  the guy who would never leave when things got tough, someone she could always talk to,  trust with her heart, believe that the promises meant something. But once you got what  you wanted, you showed your true colours. If you were going to hurt her, why did you gain her trust? Why would you let her open her heart to you? Was it really all just a game?  Did you find it funny putting her in pain? That she deserved to feel this way for someone  like you... 

Ugh. So why am I still allowing you to control my emotions from such a distance. 

Being alone isn't always bad, but sometimes when your alone you can only hear your thoughts,  the most inner subconscious of yourself. But what can I do? Give up or hold on? Is there  any way that this could just not hurt this much? There are so many thoughts running through my mind about you, how to understand this? why you are doing what you are? How can I know  anything if I can't talk to you myself. Everyone tells me you came into my life to teach me something,  it's to bad I wanted that lesson to go on longer then just this. I gave you my trust, my heart, and you betrayed that. You used it all against me. So what now? Being alone with my thoughts is all I can do. 

Why is it I actually felt like I needed you back in my life? You aren't the one and I always knew that, it's the reason we broke up.  I should have known my heart belongs to someone else. Even if he doesn't see that. Now all he does is hurt me as well, no matter how much I try to make him see, it will never work. He's chosen his path and I need to get back on mine. I just wished he would  have given us a chance, all that time wasted playing games, we could have been happy, probably still would be. You've chosen  to hurt me rather then care about me. I want you to be happy and I hope your decisions will make you happy. 

It could be but maybe it was never meant to be. It could be the reason why we haven't worked out yet. It could be that  I just wasn't good enough or maybe your still not over your ex girlfriend... so why did you chose to lead me on?  Was it fun for you? or did you just think it might be fun to make someone feel as low as you? Maybe I was just the idiot.  I just wish you could tell me things straight up rather then playing the mind games constantly. Besides sometimes I think I  fell in love with you, or it could be something I wanted. 

If you wanna leave your family again just because things are getting tough. I never want you to come back.  I can't handle you leaving and coming back as you please. I want a normal family one where things stay  steady but if you can't even try to be there for us when we need you, then I never want to rely on someone like you again. You may be my family and blood but that doesn't mean much. Your actions speak louder then your words. I wish I could believe in you but your deciding to leave us again. So this time please don't come back. 

One day :)