Fuck why the hell do i have to care so much about the one person who i know doesnt give a fuck about anyone but his fucking self. why do i need all this drama and pain in my life im pretty sure iv gone through enough already and i swear one of these days all this shit is going to drive me over the edge. this is all going so wrong i dont understand how things changed so fast or why even but this is so messed up and i dont understand any of it at all. its just so awkward i dont know how to explain this to my friends or anything, its not like i can talk to them considering they dont even know i dont understand this i put myself in this position and its killing me now. i feel like im in way to deep to even pull myself out i dont know why but this is hurting me so bad and im so sure u couldnt care less about this effecting me u know u only care about urself. so why am i killing myself trying to make u happy yes i have made my fair share of mistakes but nothing compared to what uv done to me and how much uv hurt me. it feels like the cuts will never heal, and i dont know why i care i really dont!!! i need someone to teach me to stop caring cuz i make put off that image of me not giving a shit what people think of me or that i couldnt care less but deep down i care so much and its killing me im always thinking about u scared what might be wrong, what ur doing if ur doing something stupid but no i dont think i will ever knwo the truth and thats one thing i have trouble with is trusting someone i guess u just dont understand that about me hoenstly no one really does and im sorry i cant explain it to u but maybe if u didnt do what u did i could trust u. i guess we cant take back whats happened i just wish u could talk to me again cuz i miss our relationship so much, and im soo sick of saying sorry even when it isnt my fault but no i always fucking say it and i dont understand why the fuck i do that!! i hate myself doing this i hate that i care so much. so anyone just help mee please.
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