I Can't Do This Anymore...

I'm sorry but I truly feel like this is another repeat,
I don't wanna continuously cry over the same bullshit
Your the one who made me grow up so much faster
then I should have. Why am I the one to always blame
I know I have an attitude problem but is that forever
going to be your excuse? and hers. I love you guys
but I don't wanna be around this, I don't like this
feeling, I don't enjoy having tears streaming down
my face like this as often as i have in the last 5
years. Is it fair? Yes the entire family now knows that
I have an attitude problem, why is that? oh yes because
you always have to publish everything wrong with me
I'm not perfect nor will I ever be! I don't have amazing
grades, I'm not amazing at sports like you say you
once were, I don't have a passion quite yet... Does all
this mean I'm nothing to you? I feel like it more then
a teenage girl should, I feel as if you'd be better off
never having me, maybe everyone would be. I wanna
disappear so much that I don't know why I've stuck
around this long... I shouldn't feel like this, and no
I'm not going to kill myself, I just wish that I was old
enough to leave, be on my own, create my own life with
people who don't see me the way you do. You say that
you have never blamed me for my attitude triggering his
need for substance abuse, but you had more then once,
does a young girl really need to hear that from her own
mother? I can't handle this constant fighting, it may be
triggered by attitude and I'm sorry, but if that's what it
is I can't keep changing myself in order for him to
accept me or the rest of the family, I don't care what
they think of me! I don't have a need for them to accept
me the way that I am, if they don't it's their problem
because I can walk away from everything. I can even
walk away from my parents at this point, you say I'm not
strong enough, that it's a hard world out there... Maybe
I need to leave to prove everyone wrong, that I can be
successful in life no matter what I decide to do...