EVERY THOUGHT OF HIM, MAKES HER DIE MORE ON THE INSIDE
She’s so lost, so cold, so numb, so broken, her heart is his even if he only wants to break it some more, cut her deeper. She feels so alone, empty within, her soul so lonely, her soul mate left her, maybe for a few hours, days, weeks, or months but no matter how long may it be years she will forever be his. Her soul attached to his, their soul mates he lost sight of that, and though she is crying every time no one is looking she needs to be strong, she needs to win back his love, his heart. People always say she needs to work on her attitude problem; she needs to become that sweet little girl they once knew, she has a lot of faults and she knows this, and is working on it the best she can before he loves someone else more worthy of his love, his touch, his heart, but if she gets him back she will never let him leave again, she will move heaven and earth for this man, because he’s the only guy to ever truly love her and treat her right. Although he’s made mistakes, as has she, she will never give up because true love, her love, hope, and devotion to this man will always grow stronger, and this will save them. Their future, their family, their hopes and dreams, will all come back to him, for her it was lost or forgotten.
DOES THIS MAKE HER STUPID? DUMB? IDIOTIC? PATHETIC?
She is only eighteen but has loved him since she was sixteen; she has once before let this man leave her, she never truly got over it, her heart was broken, hearing about how he was with another woman used to make her so sick, and even after a few months she would still cry every time they talked. When he asked her to be his again, February 14th, 2009 became her most favorite day, even though it was the corniest, she remembers falling out of her chair when he asked her and cried so much, tears of joy of course. Her heart was finally healing! Through the next sixteen and a little bit months she grew so much closer to him, he became her whole world, her best friend, the only person that she cared about, their hearts and souls connect and began to become one. They shared everything together, though they had their fair share of fights they never once gave up on each other. Why? Because they are soul mates, their true passionate love for each other always helped them get through the rough times, and carried them through the good times. They went through some tragedies, through every happy moment together, through some large milestones in life, learning so many lessons along the way, helping each other get over what may have happened to them. She thought this bought them closer together, it truly had, but then her pathetic worthless attitude pushed him, maybe towards her, or many just away from her, breaking her heart, as well as him she’s sure. Now that she has lost the most amazing man she has ever known, she is so broken, no longer caring about herself, her health becoming nothing to her, she has completely given up on herself, feeling like dirt, nothing more than trash. She does not want to feel happiness again, she rather be alone forever unless he comes back to her, her ONE TRUE LOVE!
EVEN THOUGH SHE’S LOST HIM, MAYBE FOR NOW OR FOREVER? SHE WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM! EVEN WHEN HE’S AN ASSHOLE!
All he said was he loves her like a friend; she said she needs to think about it, if she can be friends with the man she loves. Though she knows’ she’s strong, she feels weaker than ever before. Her heart feels empty, heavier then ever before, your name written all over it, it will be forever. She can’t handle feeling the pain of losing someone so close to her heart, although they want to be friends, and she wants to try to be your best friend without the relationship. It’s going to be one of the hardest things she’ll have to do in a long time, but she will always try, because losing you is something so unimaginable to her. Her world would feel so turned upside down, unable to even imagine the idea of not having him in her life. She feels like her heart is pounding out of her chest each time he talks to her, or even thinking of his name, hearing his name, just makes her body go into overdrive thinking about it all, all over again. Her love for him will never fade, only become stronger, or maybe it will be subsided by another love. He was her first love, the only man she knew how to love, she only cared for him, she still does, but he wants someone new, he wants someone closer to himself, someone who’s fun. Maybe if she still moves up there he might want her back? Will he just give her the cold shoulder, treat her like nothing at all, make it seem as if they have no history with one another. Either way this man can never hurt her more then she is hurting herself for everything and anything she can. She will take some fault in this.
WHY HIM? WHY CAN HE MOVE ON? WHY IS SHE SO WEAK? CAN SHE MOVE ON TOO?
All her friends her she’s better then him, she can do better than him. But she can’t realize that. Why? Maybe it’s because he made her world make sense? Or maybe he made her the happiest person in the world! She was extremely happy with him. Now that he is gone she needs to get stronger, let him be happy with a new girl and hope he realizes he loves her, or she can make him love her again. She can change herself for the better begin to heal again. But he will always be in her heart! She wants to only be with him, her friends warning her that he might her hurt her again, she understands where they are coming from trying to make him look like trash, the bad guy. Truth be told she would do the same if they were in this situation. She knows this and loves her friends so much at this time she can’t take this advice from them. She wants to feel the pain, the anger, the determination to win back her one true love; she doesn’t want to be happy without him, at least not in the same way. She wants him; she needs him, and only him! She may move on some day when there is no longer any hope of them ever being together, but that day is so far away, and even then she will always hope that he will come back to her, she promised him her heart forever and she really doesn’t want it back.
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